It was not God's plan to give me children, at least not the conventional sort. He blessed me with "fur children" and these wonderful creatures have filled the "mom hole" in my heart.
I know I am dotty about them, I also know they are animals, not people but still I love them passionately. People who do not know my struggle with childlessness often judge me because I love my cats so much. It's a foolish thing to judge the heart of people when you don't know their story or their struggles.
Tonight was a difficult night. My beautiful gentle giant Buster died suddenly. Curled up and snoozing in his favorite chair, there was no hint of the tragedy to come. Nevertheless, come it did. Suddenly he let out a yell, his head fell back and he struggled to breathe. I ran to the chair, took him in my arms and laid him down on the carpet. It was only moments and he was gone. My beautiful green-eyed Buster is gone and he's left a hole in my heart.
Those of you who are more calloused will think, "It's only a pet, just get a new one." Buster was more than a pet. He was a cuddle buddy when I had the flu and stayed in bed. He was a clown who jumped on the sofa and bumped your hand with his big head until you gave up and gave him the petting he demanded. He was a friend to any of the other cats who wanted to curl up next to him for a snooze. He was a joy.
I dread the morning because he won't be at the foot of the bed. I won't have to step over him on the stairs where he always stretched out to catch the morning sun, and he won't be waiting expectantly for his wet food in the evening.
How deeply God's creatures can imbed themselves in our hearts. How painful when they are gone. How blessed we were to have him in our lives for twelve years. How much I will miss him.
I don't know God's plans for animals. I have no idea if there are animals in heaven, but I certainly hope so. And since I don't know for sure, I am going to imagine Buster, black fur gleaming and green eyes blinking with pleasure as he sits in my mother's lap for a nice cuddle in their heavenly home.
I know I am dotty about them, I also know they are animals, not people but still I love them passionately. People who do not know my struggle with childlessness often judge me because I love my cats so much. It's a foolish thing to judge the heart of people when you don't know their story or their struggles.
Tonight was a difficult night. My beautiful gentle giant Buster died suddenly. Curled up and snoozing in his favorite chair, there was no hint of the tragedy to come. Nevertheless, come it did. Suddenly he let out a yell, his head fell back and he struggled to breathe. I ran to the chair, took him in my arms and laid him down on the carpet. It was only moments and he was gone. My beautiful green-eyed Buster is gone and he's left a hole in my heart.
Those of you who are more calloused will think, "It's only a pet, just get a new one." Buster was more than a pet. He was a cuddle buddy when I had the flu and stayed in bed. He was a clown who jumped on the sofa and bumped your hand with his big head until you gave up and gave him the petting he demanded. He was a friend to any of the other cats who wanted to curl up next to him for a snooze. He was a joy.
I dread the morning because he won't be at the foot of the bed. I won't have to step over him on the stairs where he always stretched out to catch the morning sun, and he won't be waiting expectantly for his wet food in the evening.How deeply God's creatures can imbed themselves in our hearts. How painful when they are gone. How blessed we were to have him in our lives for twelve years. How much I will miss him.
I don't know God's plans for animals. I have no idea if there are animals in heaven, but I certainly hope so. And since I don't know for sure, I am going to imagine Buster, black fur gleaming and green eyes blinking with pleasure as he sits in my mother's lap for a nice cuddle in their heavenly home.
"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And [yet] not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God." Luke 12:6 (AMP)
1 comment:
I'm so sorry for your loss Anita. Loosing someone you love - even if it's "just" a pet is difficult. May God bless you and comfort you now and always.
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